In other news, here is the actual transcript from an actual conversation between Jenn and myself a couple of weeks ago:
ME: (poking my head out of the bathroom) Honey, I shaved off my goatee...
HER:
ME: How does it look?
HER: Um...shouldn't we have discussed this first?
I wonder what her reaction would have been if she wasn't a caring, compassionate minister?
So, this is me, courtesy of the built-in web cam on my shiny new laptop:
Sexy, isn't it? Jesus....what's with the roll below my chin?
(Honest to God, it's a good thing I am married. The average corpse is better looking than I am.)
When I went into the bathroom that night, I didn't intend to come out of it clean shaven. It's not like I thought to myself, "Self? How can I make myself even uglier? Oh, I know. I'll shave off the goatee."
Nope, it was a spur-of-the-moment type of thing. I've had my goatee since college because even back then, I had a round, chubby face and thought the facial hair would create a thinning look. The only thing it created was a round, chubby face with a goatee. That's OK. I liked it. And when I finally went bald the following year, I thought the shaved head, goatee'd look fit me pretty well.
Also, I had never seen myself with absolutely no facial hair - that is, bald and clean shaven - and I was curious as to what it looked like.
Oops. I haven't done anything that stupid since my best man convinced me to grow a beard, despite being bald. Thankfully, there are no pictures of that turbulent period.
The consensus is that the clean shaven look makes me appear younger. Probably. But most of all, I just look weird. When I went into work the next day, about 75% of the folks I interacted with didn't even make a comment, which tells me one of two things: either they were following their mom's advice in not saying anything if they didn't have anything nice to say; or (and more likely), my face is so utterly unremarkable, that anything short of a pierced forehead wouldn't be worth reacting to.
As for me, I promised that I would give my new look one month before I judge. Today marks the halfway point and although I will continue to shave for the next couple of weeks, let's just say that I am looking forward to having my dog come near me again.