All you can eat

Stacey recently blogged about how the unofficial arrival of spring - baseball's opening day - sparks her annual craving for hot dogs. She is definitely on to something, although in my case, the official arrival of spring sparks my annual craving for birthday cake and the subsequent whining that I am one step closer to death.

Hot dogs are one of my favorite foods. In fact, if I am at a cookout and had to choose between a hot dog and a burger, I'd go with the hot dog. And you'd be hard pressed to find someone who enjoys beef as much as I do. Maybe it's because hot dogs are more of a seasonal food and something not typically ordered when eating out. Burgers, on the other hand, are one of the most popular foods served at restaurants and are enjoyed year round (speaking of which, if you live near a Red Robin, go and go often. Them's burgers are mighty tasty).

Fun Fact - During hot dog season (Memorial Day to Labor Day) Americans typically consume 7 billion hot dogs, which is the equivalent of 818 hot dogs consumed per second during that period. Impressed? Then be sure to check out the National Hot Dog & Sausage Council's web site for more stats that will blow your wiener.

For hot dog lovers, there is one day each year where the frankfurter is king. This year, the day is May 31. The place is Suffolk Downs in East Boston. The event? The 20th Annual Hot Dog Safari (I kid you not). This is the knockwurst of all hot dog gatherings - $10 provides all-you-can-eat access to about a dozen different brands of hot dogs, snacks, soda, etc. All proceeds go to charity, which means that you have the comfort of knowing that while you throw up the 17 hot dogs you consumed earlier that day, somebody somewhere is going to benefit from your gluttony. God bless America.

The Hot Dog Safari is the brainchild of a famous Boston sports radio host, who is perhaps a wee bit too obsessed with hot dogs. The first Safari was a bus trip for 200 people to Foxwoods, where a handful of hot dog companies set up in a function room. This year, 30,000 will attend, and why not? In these difficult economic times, $10 for all-you-can-eat dogs is a terrific deal. Sure, you might need to follow your meal with a handful of Lipitor and Pepto-Bismol, but as my good friend Red likes to say, you either get busy living, or get busy dying.

If you attend the Hot Dog Safari, the bad news is that it will probably take you close to a month to fully digest all that you've consumed. The good news is that by then, you should be hungry enough to attend the Phantom Gourmet BBQ Beach Party at the end of June. It isn't one-price, all-you-can-eat, but if you like BBQ, then you'll definitely want to check this out. 10 pit masters from around the country set up shop and for about the cost of a slab of ribs at a restaurant, you can sample ribs from each of the BBQ teams.

I attend this event every year with my pals Rob & Tim. It's a fun time - we eat like slobs, get BBQ sauce all over ourselves and after we're done, we talk incessantly about how quickly we'll have to hit the bathroom when we get home. Good times.

This year, the fun takes place on the weekend of Tim's wedding. I believe the plan will be to arrive at the ribfest mid day, eat until we get sick and then head straight to the nuptials. Tim is trying to convince his fiance to have her bridesmaids wear brown dresses, which would enable him to pig out in his tux so the BBQ sauce stains on the shirt won't look out of place. OK, I made that up. But he should.

If you love pork - and who doesn't? - (um, although perhaps in different ways), then this is your time. If you are a vegetarian, please go to church, beg for forgiveness and don't leave until you've seen the light.